My Happy Bunny

I came up with "Happy Bunny" as something to remind myself to be happy in times of trouble. If you have seen my other blog "Caverns of a needing heart" (http://www.cavernsofaneedingheart.blogspot.com/) you will know that I suffer from depression and some manic episodes, eating disorders and self harm. I honestly want to try and be happy and beat my demons and if Happy Bunny may be slightly insane, atleast I can use her to try and help myself.

I was randomly drawing and I drew "fat, lonely, evil bunny" who was fat, had stolen all of the food and had a knife in her hand. I also drew "sad bunny" who had no food, was starved and very sad. I decided I didn't want to be either of those anymore so I ripped them up and drew Happy Bunny instead.

Happy Bunny was born on 16th January 2011 and each time since then I have felt myself about to slip into my old ways, or I have felt scared that I was going to binge or throw up or self harm, I have looked at Happy Bunny and used her to distract myself. I dug out an old cuddly rabbit toy I knew I had and if I am feeling weak I carry her around with me, to the bathroom, to the kitchen, to keep myself in check. I know I'll probably slip up and sometimes Happy Bunny may not be enough to stop me, but she will help me recover.

I suppose Happy Bunny is what I WANT to be,
although human form not bunny form!